I have worked in an office for the past three years, and many days I've wondered why I thought this was the loftier of my choices. It's hard to imagine there being problems when you're cushioned by blasting AC and swivel arm chairs that go up and down, but trust me, it's rough. And unfortunately, it's not always the customers/clients who are giving me a hard time. When you work in an office, you'll have to work with all types of people and not all of them have the same goal in mind as you. Some have unrealistic expectations of climbing a non-existent corporate ladder, and your young and fresh presence is only going to get in the way of that dream. Somehow these people still have a job even though your employer swears up and down that they're making budget cuts. So how do you cope young Bahamian who just entered the real world? Or maybe you've been doing this for years and still can't make sense of the unnecessary drama that saturates a Bahamian office. So whether you find yourself working with a Trump or Kim Kardashian, here are 6 Bahamian stereotypical employees you never want to work with and how to deal with them.
1. The "I'll be right back" co-worker
This co-worker is always trying to get out of work. They always have somewhere to be (that usually isn't work-related) and take forever to come back (if they ever do) yet somehow they still have a job. There's only one hour for lunch yet somehow they magically get away with taking two hours and never have a real excuse for why it took so long. This co-worker typically leaves their desk without saying anything to anyone.
How to Deal: Beware, you may be held accountable for this person's whereabouts. Kindly remind them that it is not your job to keep track of grown adults. As long as you know where you are, and your work gets done, their physical location is none of your concern.
2. The "I'm too busy" co-worker
This co-worker is always busy (but never really says with what). They're easy to spot because they’re too busy tuning everyone and everything out for their loud and long personal phone calls or unnecessarily loud music. Therefore they can't help to answer the phones, they can't get up to let anyone in, and they're probably asking other people to get their things off of the copier for them. Yet if you were to glance at their computer screen, they're probably so busy scrolling through Facebook or Pinterest that they almost actually look like they're doing work.
How to Deal: Don't be fooled by this co-worker. Press on them when you need something done. And when something doesn’t get done, just let a superior know that this co-worker was informed that work needed to be done. Officially not your problem anymore!
3. The "I've given my whole life to this company and for what" AKA The Drama Queen
If you have ever walked into any government office, you have seen this worker. This co-worker is easy to spot. They move slowly, don’t even bother to look for them on payday, and after all of the years of service they have given [insert random name of company here] you would think they would be treated better by now. They have stood on their soapboxes on countless occasions to protest and complain about how work takes up so much of their time, leaving them with no time for themselves. Nothing is ever good enough for this person.
How to Deal: These drama queens draw energy from the drama they create because it makes them the centre of attention (attention they never get). Unfortunately, giving them attention only increases their appetite, so your best bet is to ignore the histrionics until they run out of steam.
4. The "Why are you here" co-worker
We probably shouldn't call any of God’s creatures useless, but sometimes you find yourself staring at a co-worker and wanting so badly to ask them, “Why are you here?” This is the co-worker that just isn't good for anything. Every time you ask them for something they don’t know about it, don’t know how to do it, or just plain don’t want to do it. They make you wonder why you ever bothered going to college if you knew that your future employer would have such low standards. And yet, you probably find yourself calling this person boss, manager or supervisor.
How to Deal: These people need to look good regardless. If they’re constantly pestering you to show them how to do something, you have two options. Either you can play just as dumb as them, and pass the buck onto someone else, or just stand up for yourself. Put your foot down. Tell them to take a class. Tell them to take a hike. Tell them to take a bath with a toaster. No scratch that. Bad idea. Either way, this is the worst of them all. The person tends to outlast many co-workers in a Bahamian office.
5. The "Genius" co-worker
This is the Donald Trump of the workplace: Speaks really loudly about how smart they are and how they're going to have to do everything by themselves but have no real plan of action on how to get anything done, flip flops on issues that matter and produce little to nothing. But everything was ALWAYS their idea and would never have happened without their hard efforts. The “genius” co-worker is basically a parasite co-worker, who jumps in front to receive the accolades.
How to Deal: Don't you just hate the co-worker who is always trying to take the credit? It doesn't matter if you or the team came up with a great idea. To thwart them, always keep an “audit trail” of your contributions to a project in the form of regular status reports.
6. The "Frenemy" co-worker
The frenemy is much worse than simply being annoying -- they can hurt your career. This type of co-worker pretends to be your biggest cheerleader but subtly sabotages everything you do. They’re the ones toting gossip about everyone else in the office to you, just to see what you will say about that person and then tote it to that person, more than likely twisting your words. They’re the Kermit the Frog of the office: Creates drama, then sits back to watch and sips tea nonchalantly. You can’t rely on having this person in your corner when shit is going down. They’re only there for the story, they never pick sides. And it’s all part of their plan. In order for them to win, someone has to lose. If you have one in your midst, good luck.
How to Deal: Befriend the frenemy. That’s right. Smile with them, stay in their good graces. Even though you know they could turn on you in an instant, having other people see that you have been nothing but nice to this person will likely discredit any rumour they try to spread about you. And when they bring gossip to you, just nod or shrug, with a barely audible grunt from time-to-time that indicates you’re participating in the conversation when really you’re not. You don’t have an opinion on anything or anyone that happens around that office. Let them tote that!