Valentine's Day Date Ideas

Hello Lovely,

Valentine’s Day is totally overrated, but there are still some hopeless romantics out there looking to keep the spark alive. At this point, I’m sure everyone is tired of the traditional dinner and movie date, and let’s face it, taking your girl to a club is just no longer cool. Step your game up! So I’ve rounded up 5 really fun and creative date ideas for anyone looking to shower their loved one with affection on this special day!

ROMANTIC CUDDLE KIT FOR TWO

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A romantic Cuddle Kit is an amazing gift for your anniversary, your spouse’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, OR just because! It would also make a cute wedding or bridal shower gift, or a quick-pick-me-up for a cold weather day. It can be thrown together in a jiffy, and who wouldn’t LOVE a night of cuddlin’, snugglin’, and lovin’ in a basket? It’s quick, easy, AND romantic, plus, it comes with a darling, free printable gift tags and “Snuggle Up” banner to help you have the most romantic cuddle around. Doesn’t get much better than that!

Here are some suggestions of what you might put inside…

  • A soft, fuzzy blanket

  • Some Bubbly

  • Chocolate Truffles

  • A lovey, dovey movie

  • Some Candles

  • Some Romantic Music

  • Socks

  • Hershey Kisses

  • Cocoa

The opportunities are literally endless! Just include whatever you think is comfy, cozy, and super cuddly.

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Romantic Rooftop Date

Meeting and falling in love is such a thrilling, exciting time! Enter the romantic rooftop date-perfect for a picnic!!  And why stop at a picnic blanket when you could have a table and chairs?! Don’t have a flat roof?  Are you living in an apartment without roof access?  Well, don’t let that stop you!  Ask to borrow a friend’s roof for the night.   (I’m pretty sure it’s empty and available.)  Or look for a place in town with access to a great view.

Even if you are solo, all of these activities are fun things to do with your friends and family during the cooler fall and winter months. Give them a try and report back!

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Sign Up for a Cooking Class

When cooking isn't your strong suit (and restaurant reservations are booked to the max), sign up for a last minute cooking class where you can learn to make each other's favourite meals. Things always tend to heat up in the kitchen.

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A Wine Bar Crawl

Instead of sticking to just one spot, hop from place-to-place and order different kinds of wine and tapas along the way. It's waaay more interesting than a boring ol' sit-down dinner. Of course, it doesn't hurt stashing one away for later too.

A Scavenger Hunt

This Valentine’s Day, add a little family fun with this Valentine’s Day Scavenger Hunt that everyone can enjoy! You can make up your own, complete with creative challenges, photo missions, and sexy prizes. I’ve even got two ideas for you. The first is specific to Valentine’s Day and only requires your significant other. Not only is this scavenger hunt easy to set up with a cute bag label you can print directly onto the bag, its full of fun activities that will create a memorable Valentine’s Day adventure. Follow all of the scavenger hunt clues to reveal hours of Valentine’s Day fun!

The second option is something I did four years ago for a significant other’s birthday. Just invite your most adventurous friends, print off the clues and let the race begin!

Do you have another fun Valentin’es Day date idea? Sound off below!

The Smart New Guide To Online Dating

Hello Lovely,

January is usually known for a hug surge in two places: the gym and online dating. But why? During this time most people write out plans for the year that normally include creating a regimen to reach a specific fitness goal. Also, during this time you're usually guaranteed a discounted price, the sign-up fee waived, or a few free gym accessories as a sign-on perk. According to Match.com, online dating sites are at their busiest between Dec. 26 and Feb. 14. Match reports 50 million messages sent and 1 million dates occurring during this time, which is referred to as peak dating season. It’s probably because the weather makes us crave a cuddle buddy, but there’s nothing like the holidays to make us feel lonely. So what do we do? The millennial approach to dating is definitely online dating; bars are intimidating and no one has time to wait three days to two weeks for processing time to get a call/text back.

It seems like every day we’re hearing about a new dating app. From Bumble to Coffee Meets Bagel and from Hinge to Happn, there are a lot of options out there and it can be a little overwhelming! Don’t worry, as an online dating veteran, I’ve got some expert tips for you so can avoid making some of the same mistakes I did and meet your forever person!

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  1. Choose the right app

Once you know exactly what you want, you have to choose the right dating platform. There are 10 major sites and apps to choose from, so let’s quickly break them down. Tinder might be the best known of all the dating apps out there, but just remember it does have a reputation for being a hookup site, so if you’re looking for a serious connection, this may not be it. I’ve never heard of Hinge before but it’s an interesting concept: Hinge uses mutual Facebook friends to curate matches. The app also uses a scrolling feature, which allows you to interact with multiple parts of a profile, rather than swiping left and right, so no more missed connections! The League is super exclusive and ever I couldn’t get in. After you submit your LinkedIn profile, the apps takes about a week to approve you as a new member, giving you access to 1-6 carefully curated and verified matches a day (height included!) Be careful though, if you aren’t active, the app will kick you out.

Raya bills itself as an app for creative types, from DJs to restaurateurs to NBA players.  To apply, be ready to show a large Instagram following—the rest is up to a “secret committee.” For those looking for a more specific type of connection, JSwipe offers a range of options, from “orthodox” to “just Jewish.”  Bumble asks women to send the first text. Don’t worry if you accidentally swipe past your soul mate—the app offers three free “backtracks” every three hours. I tried coffee meets bagel and I honestly uninstalled it the same day so trust me, skip this one. you to match with people you’ve passed in real life. If they have an account, you can send a like…which they’ll only see if they like you back! Foolproof and a little stalkerish…

Then there’s my personal favourite: OkCupid. I met my ex on it, and since then I’ve had A LOT of interesting conversations. Some I’ve written off the person immediately because there’s no way they could’ve thought we were compatible. Like match.com, after answering a TON of question (and I do mean a TON - but seriously don’t skip them they’re important) you’ll know just how compatible you and a potential match would be based on the percentage of personality traits you share. The app just released an update that shows which specific interests you overlap on, so if certain qualities are more important to you than others, you’ll be able to sort through matches much more easily. OkCupid’s software is literally a free version of Match.com. Sure there are some limits that you’ll have to pay to unlock, but there’s still a lot you can do with it.

2. Perfect Your Profile

Trust me, people actually read your profile! This is where you tell someone why they should get to know you; why they should swipe right. You want to make sure that you get across what’s important to you, and show some personality, too. Include a joke or a cheeky pun, if that’s up your alley. I struck up a conversation with a guy who said he wants a girl who can cook him grits and that was one of the best things I could’ve done! (We still talk)! You also want to give the viewer something to start a conversation about, so make sure that your profile says something that they can engage with. The most important thing is to make it personal, so whatever you feel good about is the right way to go.

As important as what you write is the profile picture. When you pick a profile picture, PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE OTHER PEOPLE! I have looked at pictures and wondered which one is the guy, and the worst ones are them with other girls. Is it your sister? Best friend? Ex-girlfriend? Current girlfriend? Either way it tells me that you’re unavailable so I swipe left quickly.

3. Be Patient & Open Minded

It’s hard to really tell what someone is like based on a few photos. Get to know people, chat it up, and be open-minded. If you’re only into tall, dark and handsome but you end up having great conversation with a blondie who’s on the shorter side, give it a chance. Also, age is just a number (to an extent). We’re not telling you to run out and date someone 30 years older than you, but remember that older usually means wiser (and more dating and life experience), so don’t be afraid to date outside of your own age range.

Also you may be on a site or app for weeks or months without making a genuine connection. Don’t quit! OkCupid found new guys for me every day! A lot of them never messaged me back, but that could be for a number of reasons. Remember, some people may no longer use the site because they lost interest or met someone and just didn’t deactivate their account. So don’t take it personal if the responses are a little slow.

Above all else, remember to always be yourself. Don’t be someone you think will attract the “perfect person” and you can’t maintain the facade. Don’t be afraid to set your standards and don’t settle. Whether you’re looking to casually date or find your lifelong partner, remember to put your best foot forward.

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What are your favourite dating apps? Do you have any online dating tips that you didn’t see on this list?

Share your recommendations in the comments!

Why Millennials are Swearing off Dating

Hello Lovely,

Have you ever hung out with a guy or gal and everything seems to be going swell until they say, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." That line has easily been decoded to mean, "I don't want a relationship I just want to mess around." I've met some interesting people since ending my last relationship and learned a lot about the current dating scene. I even met a guy who had the opportunity to get back together with his ex-girlfriend but chose not to because he wanted to sleep around some more. Dating as a millennial can make people as replaceable as the latest iPhone. So why aren't millennials dating or getting serious about who they date?

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1. We realised the Disney fairy tale is a lie

Our parents fed us a huge lie and we fell for it; until now. With the spike in divorce rates there's been a new level of awareness for what you don't have to tolerate in a relationship. We believed in happily ever afters because of Disney, however, Disney is based on morbid fiction, but got sprinkled with magic pixie dust to make us see the beauty in the world. The problem is, no one is that charming in real life. Most of us are actually the villain. It's hard to hold onto that fairy tale when all around you are single parent homes and moms and dads who hate each other.

2. The rules of dating have changed drastically. 

Remember when you had to send a note to your crush looking like this? 

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Then there was the awkward movie date and a whole bunch of rules and bases you had to pass before that person even became your significant other. We took dating more seriously back then. We planned weddings in primary school and swore to be together forever.

Now you don't really need to know anything significant about the person before jumping into bed with them. Dating can now literally be defined by Netflix and Chill. No one holds the door open any more, goes to restaurants or even calls. Courting has become a series of texts and dick pics. Have you noticed guys don't even try to dance with girls in the club any more? While there's been a lot more emphasis on being relaxed and letting things happen organically, it can be a little confusing to navigate. Does putting out early push him away or keep his interest? And no matter how many guides they write on this stuff, there's really no one-size-fits-all. Dating is about trial and error making it way too complicated for people who have "more important" things to do.

3. We're too career driven

Thanks to baby boomers, it's a lot harder for us to be taken seriously in the workforce. We were constantly told as kids to stop focusing on boys/girls and get an education. My mom always taught me that two people shouldn't be "unequally yoked" and I need to be so successful that no man can ever say, "If it weren't for me you wouldn't ______________". So that's been my approach to dating ever since. I pushed myself to get a Master's Degree and now I'm focused on fixing up my resume. I've even begun looking for new supplemental courses to take to increase my market value. Why? Because life isn't cheap. Housing is expensive and the average cost of living is ridiculous. It's worse when we're trying to travel so that we can "see the world" like everyone is telling us to. So we have to be educated, well travelled, and fiscally responsible before we can even begin to think about settling down. With this kind of focus, it makes it really hard to pick a mate.

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4. Seriously, these are our choices? 

The microwave generation has done a lot of amazing things, the least of which is the invention of reality TV and social media. When you're able to see what everyone is thinking with a single swipe, it makes it easier to eliminate people from your dating pool. Typically, our generation has two types of people: the career driven person who understands that it takes hard work and dedication to sustain a family, and the instant gratification person who sees nothing wrong with earning a living from their living room. The career driven person is usually too busy to date and can sometimes seem out of touch, while the socially driven person seems too lackadaisical and not serious about life.

The recent culture shift has also put a huge strain on traditional values. Do we honour a traditional relationship or is it okay to "go Dutch"? Women have been forced to step up and provide for themselves at the expense of being labelled, bitches, control freaks and insubordinate. Yet our men get away with being dead beat dads, unemployed and still living at home with their mom. But don't forget, men are supposed to be the "head of the household". So it's back to that "unequally yoked" theory.

5. "Don't catch feelings, catch flights"

I've heard this cliche more times than I can count! Somehow, it's become the cool thing to just not show any kind of emotion. God forbid you see someone you like and actually pursue them. Even if it was just a random hookup, it's assumed you "caught feelings" just because you text them the next day. No, it's called being a decent human being. There's a post-modern trend to simply forgo labels and live in the moment. One of my best friends actually chastised me for calling myself a "hopeless romantic". I was angry about that because I never said it was a bad thing. I have no problem being a hopeless romantic and someday I know I'll find someone who's a hopeless romantic like me.

I met a guy who said he doesn't kiss. What are you afraid of? She'll suddenly think you're totally in love with her and want to get married just because you romanced her a little before getting her into bed? People, it's okay to show emotions and and it's okay to form attachments (as long as that's what both parties want). We weren't meant to do life alone so stop acting like you don't need anybody.

These are only 5 reasons why Millennials don't "date" any more. If you have your own reason share it in the comment section below. I'd love to hear from you!

Many people have found love and even got married using free dating websites, so keep at it! 

We Love Dates is a dating website that caters to many different niches. We Love Dates is free and gives people the opportunity to find likeminded people in their age range and location.

If you're an adult looking for an adult dating website, try this one: http://www.nostringsdating.net/uk

Looking for lesbian dating? Try this one: http://www.dateLesbianSingles.co.uk

Over 50 and looking to date? Try this one: http://www.older-dating.co.uk

And if you're looking for gay dating try this one: http://www.dategaysingles.co.uk/

Currently: Dating

Hello Lovely,

I'm not ashamed to admit that after a little over two years I made the decision to end my relationship. It wasn't so much the distance as the differences I could no longer overlook. After a very heated argument that we've had more times than I can count, it's like a light switch went off in my head. I just couldn't do it anymore. It had nothing to do with whether or not I loved him. I loved him dearly, but it just wasn't working. We weren't working. And we weren't going to work either. In that moment, I knew for sure that had we gotten married, I would've divorced him. So I did what I had to do.

I was fine with my choice. I know I made the right decision. All I had to do was move on. So I did. And I'm proud to say that next month, I'll be making my final presentation for my master's degree. I can't believe this moment has finally come! It took a lot of sacrifice but I did it!

 While this is a personal blog, I am very cautious of what I write and share. But whenever I experience something I feel is worth sharing, I want to share that wisdom with others. I've compiled them into mini chapters, so to speak, all based on my personal experience with dating. So this is what 2 years of a long distance relationship coming to an end, culminated with 3 months of dating availability has taught me about dating and myself:

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1.     Picky is not necessarily a bad thing.

Any time a guy asks me what I look for in a partner, I always lead with, “I’m picky.” I’m not ashamed of this. My pickiness is not unrealistic; and by leading with what I want it lets the “unqualified” know not to bother. Why waste time with someone who only wants to waste your time? Letting someone know you have standards that are non-negotiable creates an opportunity for respect and allows you to weed out the undesirables. Only weak people are intimidated by standards.

2.     Forgiveness is important

OMG! Who am I for even saying this? I am the master of holding grudges! I recently started dating someone who acted unforgivably. We stopped talking and it actually hurt me. But last week he reached out to me to apologise. I’ll be honest, I was ready to forgive him so I felt relief after we talked it out and now we’re friends again. That’s because I had to accept the advice two of my best friends gave me:

3.     Nobody is perfect; including yourself

People are going to mess up; it’s a part of life. There are no perfect boyfriends, just real ones. It’s still up to you to decide how much imperfection you’re willing to deal with, but remember that you yourself are also a work in progress and there are going to be things your partner doesn’t like about you.

4.     Always date your best friend

But none of that would matter if you date your best friend. That was my biggest regret in my last relationship. We got into a relationship after only two weeks of knowing each other. Take the time to really get to know the person you’re about to spend the rest of your life (or the next three months) with. Loving your best friend is much easier than loving someone you’re still getting to know. You won’t know everything about your partner, but it’s much more fun when this person has unconditional respect for you before romantic relationships become a topic.

5.     Listen to the warning signs

I can’t stress this enough. There were so many red flags in my last relationship; as early as one month in. even when I met him, I didn’t feel the butterflies I thought I would but chose to ignore that. There will be warning signs in any kind of relationship, some are minor but you know when it’s a biggie. Listen to your heart. If something feels off, it probably is. Address these issues head on so that everyone is clear moving forward.

6.     Pick your battles

Not everything is worth fighting for. Sometimes you just know that something will end in an argument or worse a fight. The warning signs are there and in that moment you have a choice. Fully commit to this sinking ship or walk away? If you’ve already made it clear where you stand on something minor, no need to keep nagging your partner if they don’t get it right. For example: your partner getting stuck in traffic and being late to a date, vs. your partner always ignoring your requests to do something that makes you happy.

7.     Be intentional

Someone can’t give you what you want if you’re not clear about what you want. Be upfront, honest and intentional. Go for what you want and don’t be apologetic. As long as you’re true to yourself, no matter the outcome, rest in knowing you made your needs and wants clear with no crazy mixed signals.

8.     Games are for kids

This ties in with the above note. No one likes the guy at the bar who takes your number then takes a week to call. And worse, he doesn’t call back for another 3 weeks and the only reason he did call was because you initiated a drop call to get his attention. While I already counted three strikes against him from the initial meeting (my friends though I was too harsh) it turns out I was right about him so it didn’t hurt me. No one has time for games so I simply didn’t make time for him.

9.     The ring didn't mean a thing

Last year when I went to St. Croix to meet his mother, I told him bluntly that I could spend over $600 on airfare to meet his mother and still leave him if I continued to be unhappy. When we did eventually break up, he threw in my face that I was throwing away two years of blah blah blah. While this may have been my longest relationship ever, no matter how long you’ve been with your partner, dissatisfaction in one area will lead to dissatisfaction in other areas of your life. You don’t have to stay if your needs aren’t being met intentionally. There’s only so much anyone can put up with.

10.  Change is good but don't change too much.

Everyone changes in some way during a relationship. Your partner can encourage you to be the best you possible but remember no matter what changes you make in life, don’t lose who you truly are. Don’t change so much to make someone happy that you can’t remember what makes you happy.

There are days when it really hits me that my long-distance relationship is over and for a few seconds, I get an empty feeling. I’ve never been a fan of the dating process because there are so many jerks out there. But with friends that are more like family, I feel more confident in getting back on the dating scene.

I hope my experiences help with whatever decision you’re facing or need to face. What is the best dating advice you’ve ever gotten? Share it in the comment section below.

XoX

WednesDate: Fun With Charades

Hello Lovely,

Undoubtedly a party favourite has to be charades! It's a great way to show how in sync you and your significant other are, and if you're not, it's still a good way to learn new things about them! But when you're apart from your beau, it could be hard to share fun moments together over board games. If board games are your thing, Fun with charades is a website that lets you play charades with friends online with your webcams! It’s like having a party without having to leave your seat.

Pictionary online games have always lacked that special something that real life charades offered, but now you can make a total fool of yourself on cam. Invite your friends to a room, or play with others online. Act out word clues over live online video. No registration is required!

What You Need to Know Before Dating These Two Personality Types

If you’re a hopeless romantic, you’ve probably dated these two types of people: The Independent and The People Pleaser. The People Pleaser tends to have a hard time saying no to others, doesn’t want to let anyone down (otherwise they are wrecked with guilt), they are afraid of making people feel bad, prioritise other people’s needs over their own and may lose track of time from working on other people’s agendas. Whereas the Independent Person can be someone who does not rely on others for assistance, someone who prefers to do tasks alone, someone who does not follow current trends in fashion or thinking and does not care what others think about them. As a hopeless romantic, there are pros and cons for dating both of these types of people.

The allure to dating the People Pleaser is knowing that they would do whatever it takes to make you happy, while the independent is a strong decisive person who can take charge and handle the difficult situations for you. But for every pro, there’s always a con. The people pleaser is just that, a “PEOPLE” pleaser. Their concern isn’t just in making YOU happy, it’s in making EVERYONE happy. This means there will be times when they take someone else’s side over yours or prioritise saving the world over watching Netflix with you. You may find yourself struggling to find your place in this person’s life as it may just seem like there is no space for you. You may also feel lied to at times because the People Pleaser says what you want to hear, not what they mean. Even worse, sometimes you’re the “bad guy” because they feel taken advantage of. Eventually the solid foundation of trust slowly erodes away and resentment replaces it on both sides. You begin to lose faith in your partner and in your connection, maybe even wondering who this person is. But there is hope!

Make sure you're inviting your partner's truth by being open, curious, and non-judgmental — even if you disagree or don't like what they're saying. Strong reactions from you, by being dismissive, falling apart in tears or becoming angry, keeps them telling you anything you want to hear just to avoid the drama. You may need to pull the truth from them. Do what I call "rolling out the red carpet" to invite their truth — all while making sure your response remains tolerant and accepting.

Alternatively, the independent is sometimes so independent that they only pursue things that matter to them and completely disregard any attempts you make to contribute to the relationship and their life, because they’re so used to doing everything for themselves. You may find yourself struggling to find your place in this person’s life as well as it may often seem like there is no space for you. However, there are some redeeming or at least reassuring qualities. For example, yes the independent likes to be alone, but “I need to spend time alone” does not mean, “I need to spend time away from you”. They just need to turn off for a bit and recharge so that they can go back to being awesome for you. So it’s really not you. Relax.

The important thing to remember is that just like any other personality type, these personalities are on a spectrum, which means the degree of difficulty for cohesion with this person can range anywhere from mild and tolerable to severe and incompatible. What this means is, it is up to you to decide how much of these various behaviours you can tolerate and desire. Let’s face it, they both have desirable characteristics but like any other personality type can become annoying over time; because at the end of the day, you cannot change anyone but yourself. The best way to decide goes back to our pros and cons; as long as the pros outweigh the cons, it’s worth the pursuit. Remember — only when both partners show up and share the truth of who they really are can your connection deepen in a way that keeps the relationship hot, healthy, and happily ever after.

What's the most valuable piece of dating advice you've ever gotten? Share your best and worst advice in the comment section below!

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT 9 LOVE RULES

Hello Lovely,

Dating rules have changed. Again. But even though the playing field has become a bit of uncharted territory, some traditional dating do's and don’ts still apply. Some people have rules for when you should call, how often or if at all. But don’t get swept up in trends and fads that leave you heartbroken. Learn the truth about 9 common (and some new) rules when it comes to dating!

1.      Say “I love you” every day.

Perhaps the most important love rule is to just say it. Say “I love you”. We often get so caught up in daily activities that we don’t always remind our loved ones how we feel. Some may say that if their partner needs to hear it every day, then they have a self-esteem issue. That could be true, but why risk letting your loved ones think you’ve taken them for granted. Life is short and unpredictable, love anyway; and let the people you love, know that you love them.

2.      Play hard to get.

This is the biggest destroyer of intimacy. If you’re looking for a true relationship, you can’t start it off by playing games. Deception has no place in romance. It’s one thing if you play hard to get and another if you really are hard to get. Sometimes we’re just so busy we need to be chased a little, yes. Or maybe we need to show our partner that we have standards and won’t fall for just anything. In those cases, these are fine. But intentionally misleading your partner to make them work harder than they should just because it amuses you or your friends will only lead to broken hearts, including your own.

3.      Your spouse shouldn’t be your best friend.

Whoever said this has no idea how to have a happy relationship. I tell my best friends everything (but not everything at the same time). When I’m in a relationship there are some things I’ll tell my partner and some things I won’t, but I’ll tell another best friend. Not because I don’t trust my partner with the information, but it just may not pertain to him. I expect to have full(ish) confidentiality, truthfulness and disclosure with my partner. This is how I view relationships: When you’re my best friend, I expect to talk to you every day or every other day. If I can go weeks without talking to you, then I don’t need you in my life. I’m fine without you, but I chose you to be in my life, so act like it. If your partner isn’t your best friend, then what are they and why are they in your life?

4.      Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

As I am in a long distance relationship, I can vouch for this. We can count on one hand how many times we will get to physically see each other per year so it definitely makes us value that time together. However, it doesn’t come without stress because texting, phone calls and Skype can only do so much (sorry technology). It’s not the real thing and for some people can lead to rifts in emotional connections, making people stray.

5.      You can learn to love someone.

Have you ever seen the Zoosk commercial with the slogan, “First comes like”? It’s a modern play on the old adage, “First comes love then comes marriage.” But if you know anything about dating, love does not come first. I’ll admit, when I saw my boyfriend’s online dating profile, it was love at first sight for me, quickly followed by a, “I don’t know about this” once I kept reading. But when we spoke, I learned to look past things that turned out not be such a big issue. Don’t think of it as settling. But also, don’t force yourself to love someone just for the sake of being with someone or because you’re afraid to hurt them. Love takes time, and you should learn to love everyone individually, as you build trust and friendship.

6.      Never go to bed angry.

I’m a firm believer in this one. I’ve learned with my boyfriend that just because I need to discuss something doesn’t mean that he is willing to discuss something and he has learned the same. But one thing we value is never going to bed angry. We always try our best to hash it out before saying goodbye, and ending things with “I love you”. There have been times when we just couldn’t reach a solution and I woke up the next day feeling angrier because I lost sleep over the issue. There have also been times when I woke up the next day over it and just ready to move on. So while you shouldn’t go to bed angry, don’t think that you have to solve every problem before hitting the hay. Sometimes letting the issue air out is best before you say something you’ll regret.

7.      Having kids will bring you closer.

This one is a lie from the pits of hell! Children are wonderful gifts from above, yeah, yeah, yeah. Children are huge energy and financial strains that you’re stuck with for life, not just 18 years. I’m 25 and still living at home with my mother! Any couple will tell you that you lose time, privacy, and intimacy. And don’t think that having kids will make him stay. If you’re not married, he has no reason to stay with you. He made no commitment to you, let alone this human being that you decided to bring into the world. I know girls whose boyfriend’s left them while they were pregnant. Work on your problems before the baby comes, because it’ll be a lot harder afterwards.

8.      You can never be too close.

SO FALSE! You guys are going to need your own space! I know you don’t want to take one another for granted but don’t smother them!

9.      Love conquers all.

Love does not conquer poverty, addiction, abuse or imprisonment. I know as Christians we are called to love unconditionally in our marriages, but we are not God and therefore do not have to put up with any form of abuse whether it be physical or emotional. We are worth more than that, and if our partner cannot see that, we do not have to stay miserable. I don’t care what anyone says; things like domestic and sexual abuse cannot be “prayed away”. Love is a big part of a lasting relationship, but shared values and commitment are still required.