What You Need to Know Before Dating These Two Personality Types

If you’re a hopeless romantic, you’ve probably dated these two types of people: The Independent and The People Pleaser. The People Pleaser tends to have a hard time saying no to others, doesn’t want to let anyone down (otherwise they are wrecked with guilt), they are afraid of making people feel bad, prioritise other people’s needs over their own and may lose track of time from working on other people’s agendas. Whereas the Independent Person can be someone who does not rely on others for assistance, someone who prefers to do tasks alone, someone who does not follow current trends in fashion or thinking and does not care what others think about them. As a hopeless romantic, there are pros and cons for dating both of these types of people.

The allure to dating the People Pleaser is knowing that they would do whatever it takes to make you happy, while the independent is a strong decisive person who can take charge and handle the difficult situations for you. But for every pro, there’s always a con. The people pleaser is just that, a “PEOPLE” pleaser. Their concern isn’t just in making YOU happy, it’s in making EVERYONE happy. This means there will be times when they take someone else’s side over yours or prioritise saving the world over watching Netflix with you. You may find yourself struggling to find your place in this person’s life as it may just seem like there is no space for you. You may also feel lied to at times because the People Pleaser says what you want to hear, not what they mean. Even worse, sometimes you’re the “bad guy” because they feel taken advantage of. Eventually the solid foundation of trust slowly erodes away and resentment replaces it on both sides. You begin to lose faith in your partner and in your connection, maybe even wondering who this person is. But there is hope!

Make sure you're inviting your partner's truth by being open, curious, and non-judgmental — even if you disagree or don't like what they're saying. Strong reactions from you, by being dismissive, falling apart in tears or becoming angry, keeps them telling you anything you want to hear just to avoid the drama. You may need to pull the truth from them. Do what I call "rolling out the red carpet" to invite their truth — all while making sure your response remains tolerant and accepting.

Alternatively, the independent is sometimes so independent that they only pursue things that matter to them and completely disregard any attempts you make to contribute to the relationship and their life, because they’re so used to doing everything for themselves. You may find yourself struggling to find your place in this person’s life as well as it may often seem like there is no space for you. However, there are some redeeming or at least reassuring qualities. For example, yes the independent likes to be alone, but “I need to spend time alone” does not mean, “I need to spend time away from you”. They just need to turn off for a bit and recharge so that they can go back to being awesome for you. So it’s really not you. Relax.

The important thing to remember is that just like any other personality type, these personalities are on a spectrum, which means the degree of difficulty for cohesion with this person can range anywhere from mild and tolerable to severe and incompatible. What this means is, it is up to you to decide how much of these various behaviours you can tolerate and desire. Let’s face it, they both have desirable characteristics but like any other personality type can become annoying over time; because at the end of the day, you cannot change anyone but yourself. The best way to decide goes back to our pros and cons; as long as the pros outweigh the cons, it’s worth the pursuit. Remember — only when both partners show up and share the truth of who they really are can your connection deepen in a way that keeps the relationship hot, healthy, and happily ever after.

What's the most valuable piece of dating advice you've ever gotten? Share your best and worst advice in the comment section below!

 

Free Valentine's Photo Session Giveaway

Hello Lovely,

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. And if you want to capture that day with your special someone this is the contest for you! Simply submit a photo of you and your sweetie, on my Facebook Page or Twitter, with your brief love story and you're entered to win! Get your friends and family to like your picture and the page, and the couple with the most likes will get a free Valentine's Day Photo shoot valued at $200! Enter TODAY!

Rules and Information:

  • You must both live in The Bahamas (if on a Family Island, travel expenses must be covered).
  • You must be in a relationship for at least one year.
  • Deadline for submissions is February 22, 2016
  • Photo session will take place February 6, 2016. Date is negotiable, but must be completed before Valentine's Day.
  • Free photo session includes two people only. No one else will be allowed on set unless the couple has children together.
  • Photo session location can be chosen by winning couple.
  • Make-up will be provided by renowned Makeup Artist William Moultrie
  • Couples will get bonus points for sharing a uniquely creative and touching story.
Name *
Name

This contest will also be featured on Cup of Love Giveaway hosted by Planet Weidknecht and Mom Does Reviews

XoX,

Olivia

Romantic Maternity Session

When mommy met daddy:

Natasha and William first met almost nine years ago at her best friend's birthday party. He asked for an introduction and after two years of being friends,  they started dating. They got married two years later and have now been married for four years.

Thoughts from the mom-to-be:

When we first found out about baby number 2, we didn't take the news too well - in fact I cried and moped about for a few days because I was and still am in school full time, work full time and barely have enough time for my three year old. This is not the best time to have her in either of our minds, but we have faith that God knows best!

I'm happy it's a girl but wasn't planning on another child for 2-4 years. She's a surprise to say the least. But the fact that it's a girl lessened the blow for me as I've wanted a girl for a while because growing up with six sisters and numerous nieces and goddaughters, I'm kind of a pro at dealing with girls. Boys not so much- in fact I'm learning daily how to be a great mom for my son.

My hopes for my kids are that they will be strong, healthy, confident, well adjusted productive citizens. I want them to find their passion and work earnestly at it. I plan on raising them to be Christians who can stand up for their faith, be independent, and I want them to have and experience the best life has to offer. I want them to seek new truths daily live Christ filled lives. If I can accomplish this as a parent, I will feel like I did okay.

About Natasha:

Natasha is a Christian, Patient Care Assistant by professions and college student studying to be a nurse. She loves reading, writing, taking pictures, cooking, walking and exercising and spending time with family and friends. She is a wife and mother to three year old Liam.

 

Thoughts from the photographer:

Natasha has been my best friend since 2009 when we met in a writer's workshop. It has been an honour to be with her every step of the way with her first child, Liam and to be able to do the same her new baby, which I am super excited is a girl! So I really wanted to show how wonderful a pregnant woman could be through this photo session with Natasha. The physical and inner beauty of a mother-to-be are just so precious. Every scar and blemish is perfect because of its story and I'm so glad I got to tell it!

Lighting provided by: D'Angelo Reid of Michaelangelo Photography

Find the Photographer:

Facebook   |   Twitter