I’m usually really private about my relationship but after some careful consideration I’ve decided to open up more about it, in hopes that someone reading this, who may be considering entering a long distance relationship or is currently struggling with one, can get something inspiring out of it. Long distance relationships (LDR) are never easy, yet Masai and I have been making it for almost 2 years (only 4 months shy). This is significant for me because before him, I’ve never be in a relationship for even a year, so to make it this far really says something: HE HAS GOT TO BE CRAZY FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME!
Within our first year of dating, we spent all of 27 days physically together. Could you imagine spending only 27 out of 365 days with your significant other? I’m sure by now you’re wondering how the hell we made it this far.
Somehow we still managed to spend major holidays together. For his 30th birthday, I organised a real life version of The Amazing Race, in which we ran all around my island trying to beat my friends. Of course we won!
I'll never forget our first Christmas spent together and the two times we spent Easter together. (I met his brother at Christmas and I got really ill our first Easter, which meant we had to cancel our fishing trip but the second Easter was much better as we got to go to church together and he finally saw me dance for himself).
Trust me when I say it has not been easy. There were days when I asked God if I listened correctly when I chose him because so many days felt like a mistake. Even recently, now that we’re physically together for three weeks this summer, we fought my first night in town in Walmart. I know what you’re thinking: How tacky is it to argue in Walmart? What did you even argue about: Are you getting enough savings; should we go with Aquafina or Dasani? Looking back on a lot of our fights, I can see how petty it was but the good thing is, we always learned something new about each other.
We’re not rushing this thing between us. We’ve both been in whirlwind romances before and had our hearts ripped out, shredded and force fed back to us while we watched that love rendezvous with someone else right in front of us. Not saying we’re jaded now, just smarter, and more cautious to do things right this go around. We’ve got a whole summer of (affordable) adventures planned out and can’t wait to enjoy this time together. This will be the most amount of time we’ve ever spent together consecutively. I can’t wait to update you on it next month.
Takeaways From This Month’s LDR Diaries:
· Don’t walk away from a fight unless you’ve learned the reason you had the fight in the first place and have a solution for preventing it in the future
o But be realistic: You will still fight, because you can’t change anyone but yourself. It just helps to have that mental note of how to avoid triggering the situation that ticks off your partner.
· Just because you can’t BE with your partner, doesn’t mean you can’t still DO things with your partner.
o Online chat programmes like Skype, WhatsApp and Rabbit are great ways to stay connected and share intimate moments of life. If life is too busy, WhatsApp is a great way to quickly shoot your partner a message, voice note, image video or even call FOR FREE! Skype is great for face to face chats and if you miss going to the movies together, Rabbit is a great website that lets you stream movies and other online videos in a private room just for the two of you.
o If you and your beau are competitive, Pogo is another great site to check out to play games together in real time, like Monopoly and Scrabble.
· Know your love style and be realistic about it
o So many times he has told me that I’m a hopeless romantic, expecting things from him that’s just not his style. So if you’re trying online dating like we did, always establish this up front and make adjustments however you can, to save yourself some disappointment in the future.