Nothing Good Comes From Your Comfort Zone - Love Has No Boundaries

As if there's something wrong with interracial dating....Trust, that is the least of the black communities worries...

As if there's something wrong with interracial dating....Trust, that is the least of the black communities worries...

When I saw this picture on Facebook, I was outraged. I'm not even going to touch on the gay issue because I have made my stance of acceptance very clear. What my problem is, is that my young male cousin (who originally shared the post), as well as other black people, find it insulting for black people to date outside of their race. This within itself, is not a problem at all. The only problem is people making a problem out of joining two different backgrounds, which I thought, is the whole point of socialising. That's like saying only two true Americans should get married and reproduce, when there is really no such thing because everyone at some point in the genealogy emigrated, making the genes so mixed that, that would be impossible. 

When a black person says they'd rather date a white person because they get treated better, instead of shooting them down, really look at what they are saying. At the rate our black young men are killing each other, what choice does a young woman who only wants love, really have? Of course there are some who date outside of their race in hopes of some genetic magnificent trait, such as skin colour, hair and eye colour, being passed down to their offspring, but I won't get into that right now.

The photo hinted that interracial relationships are the main cause of pretty much every problem the black community faces. I highly doubt a black child robs a convenience store because one of his parents is a different skin tone. The better question is, does he even know his parents? Can he communicate to his parents? Do they support him and did they teach him discipline and respect?

FREE PRINTABLE ALERT!      Feel free to save and print this image! Frame it or post it up on your bulletin board for an extra push to try something new!

FREE PRINTABLE ALERT!

Feel free to save and print this image! Frame it or post it up on your bulletin board for an extra push to try something new!


So how exactly does pure black love strengthen the black community in a way that interracial love doesn't? How does having a white parent or partner deter from your child knowing about slavery or whatever hyperbolic belief these people think will happen? I ask this because there is literally no scientific basis for it causing even the slightest of problems, that I am aware of. Love has no boundaries. I don't want any of my black sisters or brothers made to feel "less black" because they dared to love outside of their background. Yes it is great when we can love one another, but to only love your own kind, is still not God's plan for us. Don't be fooled by so-called "black power" people. You cannot live your life in a box. Nothing good comes from your comfort zone.

Suggested Readings:

Dear Black Men, Did I Hurt Your Feelings? You Don’t KNOW Hurt Feelings…

Interracial Dating Being Used As A War Tactic

Is Love Really Blind?: 3 Attitudes About Interracial Relationships that Need to Change

The Interracial ExperienceGrowing Up Black/white Racially Mixed in the United States

Ask Olivia: Be the Bigger Person

My roomate is currently upset with me because while her boyfriend was in town, I only interacted with him once. Knowing they are in a long distance relationship, I wanted to give them their space and not feel like a third wheel. But this offended her. She knows that I am the kind of person that usually keeps to myself regardless, and I didn't want to feel like I was intruding on any private time they may have wanted. Where I'm from, it's not okay to chat up another woman's man. What bothers me is that she couldn't outright tell me that I offended her. I only knew because I overheard her telling our roomate. So now we're not speaking and I'm angry at her. What should I do?

-M


Hi M,

I understand when there is a clash of cultures in what is acceptable and what isn't. You thought you were being respectful to her and her boyfriend, while she thought you weren't taking an interest in her life. This seems like a really simple misunderstanding that will either blow over with time or can be easily hashed out with a, "I'm sorry you misunderstood my intentions" conversation. You don't have to go out of your way to apologise, and if she's not a very close friend, fighting over it, just isn't worth it. So I would suggest waiting for it too cool down and if she's still upset, apologise. On the bright side, now you know for next time!

XoX,

Olivia

10 Things You Can Do When You're Having a Bad Day

As the queen of bad days and temper tantrums, I think it's fair to say that we all have bad days that make us say and do crazy things. Like following that guy that yelled something obscene at you for at least 2 miles just so you can stare at him in a slow, evil glare while he turns off, after realising you're now following him with hate in your eyes. Or a broken camera lens that's gonna cost over $100 to either fix or repair. Or even a stolen electronic or failed job interview. I promise these aren't personal confessions (okay maybe they are) so I know what it's like to just be having a bad day. And as much as we may want to exact our revenge on that theif, or annoying co-worker or the person that didn't hire us, sometimes there really is nothing we can do about it. But even if we can't change our situation, we can change how we react to it. Here are some sweet suggestions for improving your mood a little.

  1. One of my personal favourites: Hang out with a pet. Cuddling, playing, or just chillin’ with your pet can help us feel happier and less stressed. I love to play with my cat. He always seems to know when I'm feeling down and comes to lay with me. Pets are awesome like that.

  2. My second favourite: Turn off your phone. Being constantly available stresses you out. So turn off your phone or put it in airplane mood and do something fun, like play video games.

  3. Watch your favourite tv series. I know I jump for joy (sometimes literally) whenever there's a marathon of Law and Order SVU or Castle on TV. Find something that makes you happy and or laugh.

  4. Take a long relaxing bath or shower. Taking a little extra time in the bathroom to zone out can help you relax and reduce stress. I do it all the time!

  5. Eat your favourite food even if it's not so good for you. Let me guess, it's chocolate? No wait, pizza! Ice cream? No matter what it is, you've got a snack that instantly cheers you up as soon as you see it. Treat yourself. This is an emotional crisis after all! (It's doughnuts, I knew it!)

  6. Call someone you love. We all have someone who can always cheer us up.

  7. Go outside! We all know the benefits of outdoor activites like going to the beach. So if life is getting tough, take a time out and try going for a walk or to the beach!

  8. Actually go see someone you love. Silly huh? How the only thing better than calling that person that cheers us up and actually seeing that person!

  9. Write about what’s bothering you and then write something you are grateful for. This is a great way to release stress and anxiety since it helps you get things off your chest in a safe way.

  10. Smile. It has biological effects on your brain, helping you feel better. Smile with your whole face. Even if you don’t feel like it.

I've been having a lot of bad days lately so I thought I'd share with you some of the ways I was able to get over them. I know I drove my boyfriend nuts with all of my sulking, so thanks babe for putting up with me during those times! Don't forget to try these methods if you're ever feeling down! Which one(s) is your favourite?

XoX,

Olivia